Groucho quotes

    -Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

    – Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

    – From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

    – I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

    – I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

    – I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

    – I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

    – In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

    – Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

    – Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!

    – Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

    – Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

    – One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I don’t know .

    – Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

    – There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he’s crooked.

    – Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.

    – Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

    – Why, I’d horse-whip you if I had a horse.

    – Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

    – I thought my razor was dull, then I heard his speech.

This entry was posted in Lame attempts at humour, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Groucho quotes

  1. Vikrant Agarwal says:

    These are cool. im gonna open source them to my blog 🙂

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