Here is a comprehensive collection of the literary works of my favourite author : Baldrick.
First in the list we have the bestselling novel :
Once upon a time there was a lovely little sausage named Baldrick and he lived happily ever after.
The book has a happy start and an happy ending . Notice how Baldrick bypasses all the unimportant bits like the story and the plot and gone straight to the happy ending. And everyone loves a happy ending. Pure genius!
Next we have this awesome poem :
Hear these words I sing
War is a terrible thing
So I sing , sing , sing
Ting A’ling a ling .
Notice how this poem keeps its ring intact . The rhyme scheme of a-a-a-a is a mind-bendingly ingenious tactic to keep our focus on the profundity of the words and not worry about over-rated crap like poetic effect.
And now for the magnum opus :
This poem is called ‘The German Guns’
Boom ,Boom ,Boom, Boom.
Boom, Boom, Boom!
Boom, Boom ,Boom ,Boom.
Boom , Boom , Boom!
This poem is by far the best he has ever written . The rhyme scheme here too is a-a-a-a. The subtle use of repitition is particularly impressive . In the end the poem gives a very realistic and graphic overview of the War and all its horrors. Pure Genius at work! Makes you ask of all the so-called ‘real poetry’ enthusiasts :’Wordsworth , Who Wordsworth?’