The deplorable practise of Tea-flinging

An interesting thing happened today. The day began quite as planned with me getting up at 11:30 , then having my morning cup of tea and following that up with lunch. After lunch I had …..another cup of tea. Now when we went for this second cup of tea i got to see a very unique way of expressing displeasure. As I don’t want to take names and vilify people here, lets say it was Me, Aunty and Flippy Bong Ghissu  (for your convenience the shorter version of the nickname has been used). So there we are sitting and having a mindblastingly  hot cup of tea when Aunty starts discussing about the people who work and the ones who dont. One accusation thrown about is the one pertaining to Flippy Bong Ghissu’s work habits. Now Flippy (now I’m just being lazy) normally does not get pissed enough to actually cause bodily harm to people. But, oh my , we saw another side of her today. within seconds of the utterance of the fateful slanderous accusation Flippy grabbed a cup of scalding hot tea and emptied the glass* on Aunty’s head. I don’t know if you’ve ever had tea-flung at you, but trust you me, it hurts.

This story has several morals:

1. Don’t cast aspersions on people’s work habits especially if they have any of the following on them:

Boiling hot tea, acid , rdx, grenade, napalm , knives, machetes, revolvers , sandpaper , pianos , portable iron maidens, management books , tarantulas or kittens.

2. Even if aspersions are cast about your work habits , it’s not cool to hurl blistering hot liquids across rooms onto living beings. If the beings are human/arachnids  it may be acceptable in some circumstances , but for anything else its out of the question.

3. And most importantly , whatever happens do not waste tea , especially when farmers are dying in Vidharba.

And finally , in order to stop these shocking acts of unrestrained violence and horrific wastages,  I demand the Parliament comes up with a law criminalising tea-flinging.

* Some parts of this article might be slightly exaggerated, apocryphal or at least wildly inaccurate.

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