It shames me to leave like this in the dead of the night, like a thief in my own house. It hurts me that I could not say a proper goodbye. But this had to be done. It would have killed me to see your and mother’s reaction to the news of the war. You are strong. I am the coward. I cannot bear to bid you farewell. Not so soon after I came back.
But I made a commitment to the army and to the country which I must fulfil. I am sure you understand. I am sure you are proud of me.
Once again I am sorry to use these insipid words on a piece of paper as a substitute for a farewell in person. I hope you’ll forgive me.
Love , —
O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning; hateful life first oppresses and then soothes as fancy takes it; poverty and power, it melts them like ice.
~ ~ ~
I hope this letter finds you and mom in good health. The Major recently succumbed to injuries received in the last round of shelling. I have been chosen to take his place. Imagine dad, your son is major in the army! In an hour, we go for the big push. We will be out-numbered and there is a possibility we won’t make it. It is sad that I cannot put all my thoughts on this paper for there is no time. If I don’t make it back, let me take this opportunity to tell you what great parents you have been.
I love you both more than anything else in the world.
Fate, monstrous and empty, you turning wheel, you are malevolent, your favor is idle and always fades, shadowed, veiled, you plague me too. I bare my back for the sport of your wickedness.
~ ~ ~
They have broken me in ways in cannot tell you. Again and again. Now i am weak, too weak to escape with the others. I am entrusting this letter with one of the guys attempting escape. I most certainly will be dead in a few days, either because of this condition i am in, or perhaps they will show some humanity and just shoot me.
I don’t want to die without apologising to you. I cannot be the son I wanted to me. I cannot take care of you in your old age. I cannot give you grandchildren. I am truly sorry.
I have just one request. Please don’t blame anyone for my death. Not the army, not anyone. It was my decision. A decision I have never regretted, and don’t to this day.
And always remember that I will be thinking of you both as I breathe my last.
With Love, ——
In prosperity or in virtue fate is against me, Both in passion and in weakness fate always enslaves us. So at this hour pluck the vibrating strings; because fate brings down even the strong, everyone weep with me.