The ‘Barr’ campaign

A lot of people ask me my thoughts about PWI’s dismal performance in the IPL-4. Of course, I, like most Punekars, couldn’t care less about the IPL.

That blasted team which has nothing to do with Pune other than its name is totally screwing Pune’s good name. Not only do the fuckers lose every damn match, they also show Pune as a city of spirit and enthusiasm, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Pune is a city of nonchalance and maaz, and we take pride in these qualities.

It’s time to for a campaign to end this slander and to show the world that the people of Pune don’t care about almost anything in life, least of all a team owned and managed by bongs, playing its home matches in navi Mumbai and captained by a fat Punju.

For my non-marathi readers, let me start with a couple of simple definitions:

Barr (Marathi) – Okay

Barr (Puneri Marathi) – Yeah, whatever. <yawn> This random mundane activity I am indulging in right now is a grazillion times more interesting that whatever the hell it is you are saying

Well, we are a city that believes in the economy of speech. Also, we believe that maaz is the solution for everything.

Getting back to the point – the publicity campaign that the city of Pune must undertake to un-sully its name.

The ‘Barr’ campaign.

The ad can start with Imran Khan asking a Puneri girl to marry him. She is surrounded by loads of other girls who promptly reach for weapons to kill her (presumably out of jealousy). Our girl then, without looking up from her book titled ” A million fascinating facts about tar” says “Barr”

The next in the series would be a Puneri housewife sitting and watching the hundredth rerun of a TV show called “The minute by minute life story of AK Hangal” . A young man, possibly her husband comes running in and says “I just won the lottery! A billion rupees! We are rich!”. The woman, her eyes positively fixed on AK Hangal fast asleep on the screen, says “Barr”.

The next would be a group of college kids sitting around doing nothing in some place, say Calcutta. Suddenly people start running all over the place. One stops and says “Pakistan just dropped a nuclear bomb on Delhi” to which the Puneri guys say “Barr” and continue to sit there doing nothing.¹

A man sits drinking his tea while a bunch of amits come in and tell him that they, being super pissed with the MNS are soon going to kill him in a gruesome way. He continues drinking his tea and says “Barr”

A guy is sitting on some katta and staring at the sky. God shows up and says, “You have been chosen to be rewarded with anything you want.” He continues looking up and says “Barr”. God waits for a bit, shuffles his feet awkwardly and getting no further reaction heads to the bar. ²

Come on, people of Pune. Show that you don’t care. Sign up for the ‘Barr’ campaign.

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1. Of course this should not be seen as an effort to ‘fit in’ in Calcutta.
2. This line is possibly controversial. Ask me if I care.